ThatGirlOnTV

Surrogates, though enticing in the possibilities of a Bruce Willis action-adventure written by the guys that gave us Terminator Salvation, falls slightly short of its reach for successful execution.

Almost as short as the movie is.

We engage in just about 90 minutes of a worn out concept: humans have become entirely too technologically advanced. The potential for this particular spin on the issue comes in the story line that Surrogates, and Willis explores.

This time, humans have the option of living through their “surries”; robotic emulations of themselves that go out into the world for them, enabling them to be whatever and wherever they want without actually stepping out of their bedrooms. Surrogates are crafted into physical perfection, and don’t necessarily have to be the same gender, race or likeness to their owner. They also don’t participate in any violent activity…that is, until one evening two surrogates and their owners are killed mysteriously.

Tom Greer (Willis), an FBI agent through his surrogate, takes it upon his human self to figure out how these deaths are happening, all the while dealing with his own issues of not being able to relate to his own wife. Greer ponders whether or not the world was a better place before the existence of surrogates, and in solving the murder mystery, solves the problem of technological dependency.

Bruce Willis takes center stage, although there is an impressive supporting cast including Radha Mitchell, Ving Rhames, James Cromwell and Boris Kodjoe.

Surrogates provides an entertaining 90 minutes, but with a few loose screws. There isn’t enough establishment of the detachment humans have had from reality, thanks to these surrogates. How long has it been since humans stopped going outside? When Greer steps out of his surrogate for the first time, he’s disoriented for a moment, but after that he’s perfectly comfortable. Was it that easy?

Also, a few unanswered questions remain. There wasn’t enough exploration into Greer’s personal life. We learn he’s lost a son, but there’s no indication of when, how, or how old the child was.

Similarly, the humans that oppose surrogacy (named the Dreads) live in reservations led by The Prophet (Rhames), a human rights activist who we find out is really a surrogate. It begs the question of how the humans, hell bent on ending surrogacy, never notice that their leader is one. And it’s never really addressed again.

Though small loose ends, they are important ones to audience understanding of the entire movie, and to the feeling of thorough appreciation once the credits roll.

Surrogates is not a total loss. It is entertaining, the special effects are impressive, and the emotional depth of the story line does a lot to differentiate it from all of the other “down with technology” movies out there.

Overall, Willis delivers.

Rating: 3.4/5

With so much recent attention given to the September movies, I almost forgot that there are new television shows that came along with the change in season.

This fall, the end of True Blood (the only worthwhile summer show) gave way to several premieres with high viewership and somewhat new concepts. But some of the show premieres were just lackluster regurgitations of what we already know. Primetime network television- CW, ABC, FOX, NBC and CBS pulled out the best they had….

The CW is famous for revisiting old stories. There is nothing really exciting about Melrose Place, other than comparing it to the Melrose Place many people remember. Although the premiere was mediocre, the show does have the potential to get better in the future. We can only hope it doesn’t meet the same fate as The Beautiful Life, the Mischa Barton/Corbin Bleu show that just got cancelled. And, as expected- The Vampire Diaries is doing quite well with the teen crowd, but it really is just a clone of Twilight- so we can catch it online anytime during the week.

And although One Tree Hill isn’t new, it’s already boring us with the unnecessary cast changes. Oh well, at least there’s still Gossip Girl, 90210 and Supernatural.

Over at ABC, the premiere of  Modern Family proved it possibly the best new show the network has seen in a while. The show has really saved the comedy attempt, since they got rid of Samantha Who and Pushing Daisies- leaving only Ugly Betty. Similarly, Courteney Cox in the sexy show Cougar Town, and Rebecca Romijn and friends in Eastwick (more like Charmed 2.0) show potential with their shows, although they might not resonate with many. To fill the drama gap, ABC tried The Forgotten, but it’s pretty much the same thing as every other CSI we know- barely worth tuning into. Still, ABC remains consistent with Desperate Housewives, Dancing With The Stars and Grey’s Anatomy.

FOX (unsurprisingly) doesn’t have too much to offer aside from The Cleveland Show which isn’t as funny yet, and isn’t as well written as Family Guy, but the show is still new and I’m certain it will gain the same popularity in the future. And, the sing-songy new show Glee is popular, but extremely annoying. The best show the network has to offer is House, hands down.  Lie To Me, accompanied by Fringe and Dollhouse, have all made  standard returns with their new seasons.

NBC has The Office, Heroes and Castle, going strong and back from their previous seasons, but now there’s also the hilarious Community (with Joel McHale from E!) and Parks and Recreation to add to the laughs. Mercy gives a new spin on the stale hospital shows that we’re used to seeing, in addition to a new image of Michelle Trachtenberg, instead of as the bitchy Georgina on GG we’re used to.

Needless to say, the best primetime cable shows have been on CBS.

How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory,  NCIS, CSI: New York, The Mentalist, Medium, and CSI: Miami are all back and doing well in their second, third and some fourth seasons. They have been joined by new drama The Good Wife- which seems like it won’t last long, although the material isn’t terrible. This show might be overshadowed by more intimate husband and wife dramas like Mad Men. Also- spinning off from NCIS, LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell take Los Angeles in NCIS: Los Angeles, proving even further that rappers have a place in kicking ass and taking names.  Accidentally on Purpose is a show reminiscent of the movie Knocked Up. The laughs are there, but the premiere wasn’t as funny as we would have liked. Only time will tell if it stands the test of ratings.

All in all, you’ll find shows you rush home to tune into, and others you catch tomorrow morning online. Either way, there’s at least something for everyone this fall. But just incase you don’t find one worth watching, there are plenty more channels to tune into that will offer things you like. Cable television holds good shows on AMC (Mad Men), Bravo (Real Housewives), Lifetime (only Project Runway, really), and  FX (Always Sunny), among others you might be interested in.

But if you want the best television has to offer, I suggest you tune into HBO and Showtime. Quite frankly, any show on those channels are worth watching.

Especially HBO for this:

You Make It Real For Me,

C.A.M.

Fans of  the Sci-Fi horror genre won’t be disappointed after seeing Pandorum.

Think Alien vs. Predator meets Descent, as a pair of astronauts wake up after years of sleep during their stranded space mission. Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) and Lieutenant Peyton (Dennis Quaid) are left figuring out who they are, where they are, and what happened to everyone else on board.

The reality is, it’s the year 2174, and Earth has long since exploded. Their ship- The Elysia, was the last attempt to get 5,000 members of the human race up to new planet Tanus to start life again. Bower and Peyton have the job of exploring the dark spaceship to find the reactor, start the ship back up, and look for any survivors on board.

What they find- a population of mutated, blind, cannibalistic creatures occupying the ship and eating anything they come in contact with.

Also, the disease Pandorum is well known to the space travelers, as a mental condition that affects a person’s ability to ration soundly, and impairs them with intense paranoia. We wonder along with the characters whether or not the disease has claimed them too as they start to realize they’ve been stricken with the symptoms.

This eerie space flick doesn’t disappoint on the thrills. Audiences move along with Bower- hoping he will find the reactor as he turns corners that could hold another mutant creature.

Other characters like the dark Gallo (Cam Gigandet) and heroine Nadia (Antje Traue) are excellent additions to the great cast, horrific experience, and quest for salvation that Pandorum presents.

In his debut attempt at a completely English film, German director Christian Alvart presents commentary on the current state and future of mankind, as well a commentary on the abilities and capacity of the human mind. Do the two correlate? Alvart seems to think so.

This is an exciting, dark, and disturbing film that will leave you wondering if you’re feeling the symptoms of Pandorum too.

Rating: 3.9/5

Traditionally, movies with “love” in their titles harbor expectations of stories containing boy-meets-girl romances. Love Happens gives us something else to work with and instead, we left thinking boy-just-needs-a-hug. 

The movie really isn’t about the romance between Burke (Aaron Eckhart) and Eloise (Jennifer Aniston). As an author of a self-help manual and rising celebrity, Burke Ryan spends his time helping other people deal with the deaths of their loved ones while bottling the recent death of his own wife. During a week-long book promotion and  workshop, Burke mentors a group of grieving Seattle residents as they find their ways back to living normally. During this week, he bumps into a florist named Eloise, whose own love life could use a little sun and water. Eloise brings Burke back into the dating scene, although she has no idea how deep his pain is. 

This movie is more of a tear-jerking, touchy story than an actual romantic comedy. We see the depth of pain some people go through in losing loved ones, and the therapy that meeting new people and finding new love can provide. It’s not as heavy as a drama, but Love Happens almost has the same effect as the movie Click did, leaving you wondering why on earth it was publicized as a lighthearted movie.

Speaking of misleading publicity, Jennifer Aniston is not the main character in this movie. Instead, she steps into the supporting role to Aaron Eckhart’s character. Her role as somewhat of the small hero instead of the damsel in distress role she normally gets was rather refreshing, even though anyone could have done it. 

Unfortunately, though this movie has a good couple of actors, the chemistry between Aniston and Eckhart did not appear real. Eckhart’s performance was quite impressive, and seeing him as a multi-dementional grief stricken hypocrite holds our interest. Aniston’s performance was irrelevant, but that’s not her fault. She played it well.

Overall, Love Happens won’t be getting a place on the DVD shelf. The previews don’t give any insight into what this movie is about, nor does the title. There are a few missing links, but the lack of real romance (which we thought was the main idea) was the most important miss. Death Happens would have been more accurate and possibly more helpful, although that might not have gone over well with PR. 

Rating: 3/5

As Megan Fox’s debut primary role, Jennifer’s Body seems to deliver exactly what most teens are looking for: high school hell. But even the high school students will notice that this movie is not at all scary. 

In a desperate act to become as big as “that guy from Maroon 5″, members of a rock band called Low Shoulder come to a little town named Devil’s Kettle, and sacrifice a virgin to Satan. Turns out she’s not really a virgin, instead, she’s Jennifer (Fox). The hottest girl in school with the not-as-hot best friend named Needy (Amanda Seyfried). Needy notices that her BFF is never the same after her encounter with the rock band, and later learns that Jennifer is the reason why a bunch of guys in town are being found resembling “lasagna with teeth”. 

And then somewhere in there, there’s time for a girl-on-girl kiss. 

Although you get the the witty, unconventional sexy “horror” flick built out of the shadow that the Scream franchise left us with, and that so many teen “horror” movies have patterned themselves after ( I Know What You Did Last Summer, Prom Night, Final Destination, Sorority Row, etc.), this movie doesn’t quite achieve the same effect, like so many others have failed to do.

We like the humor in horror films at times. Not every movie has to be The Exorcist or Saw, but the saturation of over-the-top twists and hypersexual language (some words/phrases teens today don’t even use) disconnects these movies from the audience they try to target. Jennifer talks frequently about how “salty” guys are, how she isn’t even a “back-door virgin” anymore, and how she’s going to “cross out” Needy. It was almost painful to listen to. 

Speaking of Needy, Amanda Seyfried did a pretty good job in her role as the concerned, and mentally unstable best friend. Her acting carried most of the cast full of forgettable characters. In fact, what is Adam Brody’s name in this movie? His role as the lead singer of  Low Shoulder could have been a little bit more developed. 

But Megan Fox was all we expected her to be. Sexy, annoying, and not that far off from her real personality. 

Overall, this movie is not the worst thing you’ll ever see, but it certainly won’t keep you up at night. Quite frankly, there are just too many movies like this, and none of them have been impressive. 

They titled it Jennifer’s Body probably because that’s about all you’ll pay attention to. 

Rating: 2/5

The recipe for a Tyler Perry movie is one about as complex as the recipe for lemonade.

You have to have a dark past meeting a bright future for the main character, the man she doesn’t need and the man she does, and of course- a church sermon and/or singing.

 That’s not to say that a Tyler Perry movie is always predictable, we just know to expect that much.

 What I didn’t expect in I Can Do Bad All By Myself, was for Taraji P. Henson to almost separate herself from the whole Tyler Perry movie stigma with her Oscar-worthy acting. She really does stand out.

 Although the writing and dialogue were slightly on the cheesy side, she was full of depth and emotion. Henson was certainly believable as April- a woman who is reluctant to take on the responsibility of raising her dead sister’s children.

Also, Brian White gave a compelling performance as Randy, April’s boyfriend. After light roles in The Family Stone and Stomp The Yard (and his laughable cameo in Daddy’s Little Girls), it was nice to see White play the antagonist, and do it so well. We genuinely hate him in this movie.

New big screen faces Hope Olaide Wilson as young Jennifer, and Adam Rodriguez as love interest Sandino, finish off a decent cast of actors that take us along on their emotional roller coasters.

But, in true Tyler Perry movie fashion, the hilarious Madea we know and love, and her weed-smoking brother Joe (both Tyler Perry) serve far more purpose in the plays than they do in these films.

The singers in this movie- Mary J. Blige and Gladys Knight- although we love them dearly, are really not necessary for the film. Thus continues the longstanding argument about how necessary it is to choose a singer-turned-actress over an accredited actress, in the name of more publicity. Almost anyone could have played those characters, minus the singing….

Which, in this case, may not have been such a bad idea. The singing didn’t lend anything to the story. In the beginning we  learn that April is a singer at a night club, but that’s lost as the movie progresses, considering the beginning is the only time she gets behind the microphone.

This particular Tyler Perry movie does not disappoint on the laughs, the tears, and the moments of wise words. It is  predictable as far as storyline is concerned, but the cast of actors (not singers) in I Can Do Bad All By Myself is almost as good as the cast in his best movie yet The Family That Preys.

Notice, though, the latter one had no Madea in it.

Rating: 3.7/5

If you’re expecting a lot from this movie, as in- I’m 15 years old, I’ve never seen anything like it before, or I’m really excited about Audrina being in a movie!- then you will love it. And probably want to join a college sorority afterwards. 

But, Audrina Patridge  does absolutely nothing in this movie….and that alone makes it worth watching.

On the other hand, if you’re older/wiser and have seen I Know What You Did Last Summer, Prom Night or even Scary Movie, then you’ll appreciate Sorority Row for what it is- a comedy, and not a horror movie…another installment in a line of jokes.

But, being as that is what you expect from it- you might actually enjoy it.

The best thing about this movie is the bitchy, pencil thin, gorgeous girls that make us believe in college sorority life. With a cast including Audrina Patridge, Jamie Chung, and Margo Harshman, you get familiar faces that resonate with the teenage and college crowds.

In the movie these girls have foul mouths, they’re funny, sometimes stupid, and most importantly- doomed to die violent deaths one after another for a horrible prank gone wrong.

The problems: this remake of a classic movie lacks suspense. None of the deaths come as a surprise. The killer is too human to be Megan (Patridge), and Ellie (Rumer Willis) does nothing but cry the entire movie. Megan’s sister Maggie (Caroline D’Amore) comes out of nowhere and is completely pointless to the movie.  So we’re completely thrown off when it comes to the horror aspect and guessing who is behind the killings.

In the attempt to remake classic thrillers, suspense and the need to familiarize with the day and age are sometimes lost. We saw it with the Halloween movies, and we see it here. There were plenty of shout-outs to Facebook, high tech applications on phones, and Cadillac Escalades, which completely took away from the authenticity of what was going on. 

Minor details. 

Sorority Row definitely keeps you interested throughout the whole movie, and guessing about how it’s going to end.  Remembering that you don’t expect a full out horror experience, it’s actually not that bad.

Better than Prom Night, at least.

Rating: 3.2/5 (*Note: a rating of 1 would be The Final Destination (see previous review), 5 would be Scary Movie 2)

Imagine a world in which “The Sims” game featured real people that you could control…

Well, in the new movie Gamer, that’s exactly what happens. Set in the future, the obsession to live a virtual reality manifests in the forms of video games called “Society” and “Slayers”. One, is very much like “The Sims” in the sense that you get to control a paid actor for a set amount of time, the other is a game that gives death row inmates a death match shot at freedom after fighting and defeating each other. 

Gamer follows the reigning champ of “Slayers”, nick-named Kable (Gerard Butler) and his “gamer” Simon (Logan Lerman) on their quest to free Kable from the game, and the corrupt creator Ken Castle  (Michael C. Hall), to get back to his family. 

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the guys that brought us Crank, keep up the fast paced violence, hero with a dark past, and high risk escapes in this attempt at a worn out concept. We’ve seen the message of warning against technological dependency so many times, but Gamer makes it refreshing. 

The cast of Gerard Butler, Amber Valetta, Kyra Sedgwick, and cameos by John Leguizamo and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, works well. There are other familiar faces like Terry Crews, Maggie Lawson and Leonardo Nam to round out the good cast. 

The movie could be a social commentary on dependency, and that old saying about absolute power…or it could be about beating the odds, beating the system, and beating the s*** out of other people. I’ll let you decide. 

Overall, Gamer builds our interest and satisfies. It will probably be swept under the rug with the lack of publicity, but if you appreciated Death Race 2000 or Crank, you’ll appreciate this one too. 

Rating: 3.0/5

There’s something about Mary…

I expected a whimsical romantic comedy about a girl who gets a guy to appreciate all her stalker-ish but cute quirks and accept that she’s perfect the way she is. Think Steve Urkel eventually gets Laura Winslow the way he is, not as his suave alter ego.

I expected the powers that brought us Miss Congeniality to bring us another Sandra Bullock character that we’d watch hold true to herself even though the world tries to change her. That much, we got.

But honestly, Mary (Bullock) was just annoying. To the point that she was almost disturbing.

As a crossword puzzle creator for a small town newspaper, Mary is a walking encyclopedia who latches on to a guy after one date with him. Right from the beginning (when she “mountain lions” him in the car) Mary had us all embarrassed for her. She was more awkward and forward than cute and timid. As she then becomes obsessive and follows Steve (Cooper) and his news team around, we sit there thinking okay, maybe this is too much.

The story shifts, we meet new characters, hear about weird news stories, and then end up in a big hole.

Literally.

But the characters never meshed well. Mary was shoved in our faces while the other characters didn’t get developed enough (what on earth is DJ Qualls’ name in this film?). It’s called All About Steve but we don’t even get to see much of Bradley Cooper who plays Steve.

Although the big names will get you in the seats to see this movie, I think the good cast fell victim to poor structure, poor writing, and jokes that make you chuckle a few times but certainly not laugh out loud.

The truth is, Bradley Cooper and Sandra Bullock may not have been the best pair for this movie. I’m no movie director, but I think it could have been better perhaps if it went with an indie film tag and an unknown cast.  And, if it let go of the Sandra Bullock humor and tried to get a bit grittier.

The movie structure was an epic fail. You think it’s going to be romantic, it’s not. You think it’s going to be funny, it barely is. You think it’s going to end happily, it actually just ends. And ends terribly.

I have always liked Sandra Bullock- hopefully her next one will be better. Bradley Cooper didn’t lose any nice guy points either.

Overall, All About Steve left us thinking… what was that all about?

Rating: 1.7/5

August is over, and one of my favorite months is here! September is good for sports, school, and of course, screen time. 

I’m going through the channels to see what good shows are coming on but let’s not forget about the movies! September has some much anticipated films coming out, and it kicks off with Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper in All About Steve, which opens September 4th. Nothing like a good psycho-stalker to kick off the semester.

The first week of September also gives us Carriers- a horror flick about a pandemic…you know, just to make us feel more comfortable about the H1N1 (aka swine flu) that’s going around…and Gamer- an action/adventure movie about video games gone wrong, starring Gerard Butler (the only reason I’d see this) also on the 4th. The first few days of September round out with the animated Tim Burton movie 9 on September 9th (go see 9 on 09/09/09! Knee slapper, I know). I can usually count on the bromance between Burton and Johnny Depp to produce a good movie but since there’s no Depp, we’ll see. 

If you want to honor 9/11 in front of the movie screen head out to see Rumer Willis and Audrina Patridge in Sorority Row for a good laugh, or go see Taraji P. Henson and Mary J. Blige in Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself for some inspiration. Or you could go see Kate Beckinsale be SOL and cold in Antarctica in her movie Whiteout. 

There’s a few good ones coming out the 18th, like the drama/romance The Burning Plain with Charlize Theron. For family time you could take the kids to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, or  for a date night out The Informant with Matt Damon looks good too. But if you don’t want to see a good movie that day… Megan Fox also comes out with Jennifer’s Body and our other favorite Jennifer- Aniston does yet another romantic movie titled Love Happens (just not really for her in real life, they say).

And to finish out September, all you true fashionistas can go see Coco Before Chanel starring Audrey Tautou (I smell a Golden Globe nod), and all you wannabe dancers can go see Fame on the 25th. Also on the 25th, if you’re suffering from withdrawal from Twilight and just can’t sit still until New Moon, Cam Gigandet has an independent movie with Dennis Quaid titled Pandorum that can tide you over. And finally, Bruce Willis does what he does best- kicks ass and blows things up- in Surrogates.  

And that, my dear friends, is September in a nutshell. There may be other movies but once again, not really worth mentioning- check with your local service providers for those. 

Where is your boy tonight, 

C.A.M.